It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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