I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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