she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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