well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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