This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
