the day after is always just damage control
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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