Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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