dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
