my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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