He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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