And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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