if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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