Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
