she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
