She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
