I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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