Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
