If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
