A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
