FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
