K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
