Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
