I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
