I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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