Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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