it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
