So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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