Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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