i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
NoShamevember. You game?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
