You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
