Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
