Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
