Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
