i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
