At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
