when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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