I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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