I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
