she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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