I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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