if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
