it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Let the clothes fall where they may.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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