idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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