I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
