The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
