Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
