Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
