i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
