I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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