This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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