you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
