I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this will be a night to untag.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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