no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have post one night stand depression
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