It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
