Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
