More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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