brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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