Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
