And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
