Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize