You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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