barbara walters just said penis...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
