My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
