: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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