and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
