but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
