my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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