dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Randomize
