The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
