I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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