Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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