I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
