hell yes lets make some ravioli
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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