absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
