Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
